Fifty One things I miss, One I don't miss about Mark

Things I miss about Mark:
1. He started every day thinking of one kind thing to do for me.
2. He actually did (at least) one kind thing each day.
3. He loved me unconditionally.
4. That he taught me to love him unconditionally (not "loved", because I still do).
5. During the winter, he would lie on my half of the bed to pre-warm it for me.
6. He was one of two people that I know that could out-smart me.
7. His passion for music - he existed in a whole different world with it.
8. His disgust for Republicans (or fascists as he called them).
9. His razor sharp sense of humor.
10. The cup of coffee that he would bring me every morning.
11. The way he let me take care of him when he was down.
12. His laugh. Every time I heard it I knew that all was well in my world.
13. How every time I was gardening and he was home he would BLARE his music because he knew I hated listening to anything that loud.
14. How every time he cooked he managed to use every utensil and pot and pan in the house.
15. How he tried to cook for me.
16. How much he loved and respected his mother, and the rest of his family.
17. His loud burping...yes, I complained about it then, but I miss it now.
18. When he would remind me that "we're on the same team".
19. The feeling of being whole with him.
20. His beautiful brown eyes.
21. His smile that could always melt my heart.
22. How he existed on a whole different plane from anyone else I knew. Too brilliant for this world. He often acted like the "absent minded professor".
23. The silly excuses he would find when our "monthly anniversary would fall on the weekend so that he could go get a bouquet of flowers. Classics such as: I'm going to get some beef jerky, I'm going to look at fishing lures, I need to go to Ace Hardware to look for a new thingamajig.
24. That he would always remember the 11th of the month and walk in the door with a bouquet of flowers beaming.
25. How he would always call flowers that had good scent: "they stink good".
26. Making love to him (sorry, but we were married!).
27. That he always encouraged the best in me - he knew when I was going to lose my temper with someone else and would ask me to calm down.
28. That he tolerated the worst in me, he said I was a "great package deal".
29. That we could be emotionally naked with each other - we could state politically incorrect statements because we KNEW who each other was.
30. That he wasn't racist, sexist, or nationalistic.
31. That he loved his country enough to condemn its recent atrocities.
32. Holding his hand when we walked.
33. Feeling his hand on my back, or his foot on my leg...always some part touching me when we slept.
34. Feeling secure with him.
35. Knowing with absolute certainty that he would never be unfaithful.
36. Having him somehow believe that HE was lucky to have ME (fool...I was the lucky one).
37. Being able to just be with him...not having to talk.
38. That wink that he first gave me when we were marrying that always communicated that he loved me and that everything was fine.
39. His voice announcing that he was home.
40. How he would rub my head until I fell asleep because he knew it alleviated my chronic pain.
41. Waking up to him.
42. How he always sought the truth - never believed untrue rumors and would "fact check" everything.
43. Everywhere I went, looking for something that he would like.
44. Connecting with him emotionally.
45. Having lunch with him during work days.
46. The lazy days we spent together...staying in jammies all day.
47. The passion he had for New York and London.
48. How much he always strove to be a better person (though others would be lucky to achieve his level).
49. Picking up his dirty laundry that he "hid" under his side of the bed.
50. The sight of our bathrobes hanging next to each other on the bathroom door.
51. Him - the whole package, good and bad. All together it was great.

One Thing I don't Miss about him:
1. The sound of nail clippers while he meticulously trimmed his nails during a show I was watching.


Remember, those things that make you upset about someone you love are going to be the things that you miss one day. Overlook the minor inconveniences, deal with the real problems head on, and have no regrets with your loved ones.